Dear Dog Upstairs Who Always Smells Like Fritos,
As far as dogs go, you're really not cute. But, you're one of my favorites, and I've known you since middle school. That is to say, I knew you before I had real problems. Suicides and cancers, plane crashes and fires. That is to say, I knew you before I was preoccupied with the notion of carefully choosing my friends.
You treat me the same as you did in middle school, and outside of my siblings, you're one of the only ones.
Accordingly, most of my relationships exist in a post-event warp, my daily aquaintances and small friendships consisting mostly of people who know me, post-something. Everybody "pre" gets wiped out, mostly by me.
I've gotten to a point where I'm tired of lost relationships, though. Tired of fearing a trip to Montgomery Krogers. Tired of always looking for other locations for my favorite stores. I'm tired of being scared to run into people who know me, pre-whatever.
So, with Japan. I'm not scared of going---I'm thrilled to go. I'm scared of leaving. Will I lose more? Will I have a post-Japan life, too? Will you remember me in 2014?
Will you still be alive in 2014?
Generally, I enjoy that the dog smells like Fritos.
This is so powerful, Caitlin! Thanks for posting and sharing it!
ReplyDeleteI think you are incredibly brave